While President Donald J. Trump was in office and things were going well for farmers and ranchers, legendary calf roper Tex Kent decided it was finally time for a new truck.
The 20-year-old truck he had patched and repaired for the past 10 years was so well used that his sweet wife finally refused to ride in it with him to town. Since it had been some time since he had bought a truck, the rancher contacted a friend, of a friend, of a friend that worked at a big city dealership.
Kent called the truck dealer to find out he could get a basic new truck for around $30,000. He deciphered his return on investment and payment amounts with his banker and decided he would drive in to the city the next week to select a new pickup that his sweet wife would be proud to ride in.
Kent arrived at the dealership to meet the salesman that was refered to him by his friends’, friend’s, friend.
“So what type of truck do you need?” the dealer asked as he shook his hand.
Kent replied, “Just a basic ranch truck, nothing too fancy.”
The salesman then started asking some questions, “Do you need four-wheel-drive? Do you need a 3/4 ton truck to pull your trailer? Do you want an automatic transmission? Do you want air-conditioning? Do you need a towing package and a grill guard? Do you want oversized trailer mirrors? Do you need a tool-box for your tools? Do you need floor mats for your muddy feet? Do you want a king-cab so you can keep your records, receipts, and coat clean and dry?
Kent pulled out his red bandana, wiped his brow, then blowed his nose and interrupted, “Sir these are all things a rancher needs on a basic ranch work truck!‘
The salesman replied, “Well they may be standard to you, but they aren’t to Ford Motor Company.”
Their discussion about what was needed on a basic ranch truck went on for several more minutes and finally the salesman said, “I have three trucks on the lot that are just what you need. Do you want a white one, a blue one, or a brown one?”
Cowboy Kent replied, “I don’t really care that much, but I don’t think I want brown, and the white one will show all of the mud and dirt, so I will go with the red one.”
The salesman said, “Ok Let’s take it for a test drive.”
While out on the test drive the salesman said, “You know I would really like to have 10 or 12 cows myself. What does a basic cow sell for these days?’
Kent scratched his head and replied well cows are sort of like trucks, an average cow, or the basic model as you might call them, sells for around $1,000.”
Kent really enjoyed the test drive and the visit with his new acquaintance. Everything was fine until they got back to the dealership to fill out the paperwork. He started signing sheet after sheet and finally asked, “So what is the total cost of this truck?
The sales man replied, “$44,860”
“What?” Kent pulled out his bandana again, wiped his brow but didn’t bother with his nose, “I thought the basic truck sold for around $30,000?”
The salesman replied, “Well we added considerable extras to the basic model, 4×4, automatic transmission, air-conditioning, 3/4 ton suspension, heavy-duty breaks and cooling, extra-large mirrors, toolbox, heavy duty towing package, and floor mats.”
Well, Kent was not at all happy. He felt that he had been mislead, but he had already invested a day, really liked the truck, and wanted to please his wife, so he bought it.
About a year later, after Biden had swindled his way into office and the price of gas, ranching, and food had skyrocketed, the salesman called Kent up to see how he liked his truck, and then asked if he had any cows for sale?
Kent pulled his MAGA cap off, wiped his brow and got a twinkle in his eye. It was payback time. He replied, “Sure I have some cows for sale. Come take a look at them later this week.”
The salesman really enjoyed riding through the pasture with Kent in his nice truck looking at various cows. He was as tickled as he had finally saved up enough to live out his childhood dream of being a real cowboy. He told Kent, “I’ll take 10 of them!”
Kent, had noticed the car dealer was wearing a blue “Build Back Better” cap and figured this city slicker was a Democrat. He looked the liberal in the eye and said,”Ok that will be $44,860!”
The salesman said, “What? I thought that cows sold for $1,000?”
Kent replied, “That was for the basic model, these cows come with considerable extras!” And he handed the salesman the following sheet that he had his sweet wife make up the night before on their home computer:
Basic Cow with Options
🔹Basic cow $999
🔹Shipping and handling $85
🔹Self-propelled, auto-steer forage finder $969
🔹Extra-large capacity stomach $379
🔹Genuine cowhide upholstery $179
🔹Two tone exterior $142
🔹Heavy duty forage choppers $189
🔹Four spigot/high-output milk system $159
🔹Automatic fly-swatter $88
🔹Automatic fertilizer attachment $139
🔹4 x 4 traction drive assembly $884
🔹Ranch brand leather-work $69
🔹Rancher’s Suggested List Price $4,286
🔹Ownership Transfer fee: $200
Total Price: (Including options)$4,486
“For ten basic cows,” Kent smiles. “That adds up to $44,860.”
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