During Sunday School Mr. Jones had Monopoly on his mind.
Every Sunday after church and a good meal, the family would gather around the table for their weekly round of the famous board game.
He absolutely loved this American pastime and knew much trivia about the game. It first originated in 1933 and is now played in 47 different languages in 114 countries.
Jones even counted the amount of money in a Monopoly game to realize it is $20,580. He also knew the longest recorded game. It lasted 70 straight days.
During World War II, escape maps, compasses, and files were inserted into Monopoly game boards smuggled into POW camps inside Germany. Real money for escapees was slipped into the packs of Monopoly money.
He must have had the game and other things on his mind when one morning Mr. Jones stood up and said “I’d like us to pray for some smiling faces in this church.” Then, in typical fashion, he added, “I think more people would want to go to heaven, if they weren’t afraid it’d be like church when they go there!”
“Church shouldn’t be fake.” he suggested. “It’s not about entertainment, comfort, or fads. Church should be a place to bring your joys and your sorrows and connect with others who want to find God and be loved. Fog machines, exotic coffee, and specialty groups will never meet those needs the way the core truths will. Let’s focus on what will not change: God, His Word, and our need to love each other.”
“I grew up in a church, back in the sixties, and we only sang hymns,” Jones continued. “Then came the contemporary praise movement in the seventies and I thought, wow this might be better than the old hymns. And we all know the rest of the story. It seems my nine-year-old granddaughter will never know the great hymns like I do. And to be honest, that makes me sad.”
“Contemporary music can mean a stronger focus on individual performance rather than group worship as a whole,” he suggested. “New music should not be forgotten as it is necessary to express current burdens of the culture in song, but we should be congregation-ready and free of commercial trappings.”
“I just want to quit worrying and pay attention to the sermon,” he continued. “There is no get out of jail free card. Do not pass Go and do not collect $200.”
“What was all of that about?” his family asked, after the services. He gathered his thoughts and explained when they arrived home.
Life, according to Mr. Jones
Life is like a game of Monopoly. You may own hotels on Boardwalk or you may be renting on Baltic Avenue, but in the end, it all goes back into the box. The next generation will be getting out all of your stuff and playing with it or fighting over it.
The Small Stuff
The small stuff is what makes up the larger picture of our lives. Many people are like you. But their perspective is distorted. They ignore ‘small stuff’ claiming to have an eye on the bigger picture, never understanding that the bigger picture is composed of nothing more than—are you ready?—‘small stuff.’
Have you ever been bitten by an elephant? How about a mosquito? It’s the small stuff that’ll get you!
At this very moment, you possess the power of perspective. You can choose to see your life becoming whatever you wish. If you choose, you can move the mountains in your life’s path with the eventual help of those who will come to love you and learn to respect you for what you are becoming.
Happiness and Charisma
You must become a person that others want to be around! This is far and away the greatest success secret in existence. This is the person who gets the chance. The second chance and the benefit of the doubt. You should ask yourself this question every day: What is it about me that other people would change if they could?
What is it about the way I dress that other people would change if they could?
What is it about the way I act that other people would change if they could?
What is it about the way I talk that other people would change if they could?
You WILL Make a Difference
One day, you will look back on your ‘worst time’ in your life as a fortuitous event. Even your worst times have value and can become, in retrospect, your best times. You will make a difference. Now, what kind of difference? That’s up to you.
Just keep smiling and roll the dice. When you get a chance, sing a good ‘ol gospel hymn now and then.
In the late 1970s, during university journalism classes, I first studied how movies, television, news and politics purposefully used manipulation techniques to control our thoughts.
It was then that I realized I was one of millions of moviegoers who unknowingly sensed the power of sublimation.
When director William Friedkin’s The Exorcist opened in 1973, it quickly became one of the most critically acclaimed and financially successful horror films of all time.
Local newscasts reported viewers fainting, vomiting, and fleeing the theater, shaken by the film’s explicit depiction of a young girl named Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair) possessed by demons and exhibiting blasphemous behavior.
But what we didn’t know was just how unsettled we became because of Friedkin’s insertion into the film surreptitiously—a frightening, subliminal image that was funneled straight into the audience’s subconscious.
Unbeknownst to us, there was a white-faced demon briefly flashed onscreen at 45 minutes and one second into the film.
At one hour, 43 minutes, and 13 seconds in, there is another 1/8 of a second flashes cuts in:
The micro shots were part of Friedkin’s strategy to unnerve moviegoers using both visuals and sounds that he felt stood the best chance of creating an uneasy atmosphere. The face was intended to represent one of the demons inhabiting Regan. Here is another:
The subliminal techniques worked. As of September 2022, the movie has garnered $441,306,145 in worldwide earnings.
The idea for manipulating the masses came from print media. In this day of internet advertising, propaganda and politics, “social influencers” are called in to impact purchases, choices and cultural norms. Let’s look at celebrity influencers of yesteryear:
Advertisers and bloggers know that most people will not spend much time looking at print advertisements or reading long articles. That’s where pictures and images come in.
WHISKEY A LA MODE
Here is a classic example of how hidden (subliminal) ideas, imagery, and words can be placed in print advertisements without immediate detection.
On average, people look at a print ad for no more than two seconds. In the following case the advertiser had two seconds in which to convey a message.
With this in mind, look closely at this advertisement and see if you notice anything interesting:
This is not a photograph of a glass of whiskey, this is a piece of artwork.
Take a look at this area of the print advertisement. Do you see the image of a dead wasp?
Here is a comparison of the image of the dead wasp with a darkened image of the dead wasp:
Below is a comparison of the image of the dead wasp with a picture of a wasp:
Notice that the colors black and yellow are prominent in this advertisement, the same colors of a wasp.
There are three subliminal images of birds in this advertisement.
BIRD #1: Above the image of the dead wasp is another image. Do you see the image of a vulture above the dead wasp?
This image is a cartoon rendition of a vulture. The vulture is hovering over the image of the dead wasp:
Here is a comparison of the image of the vulture with both another cartoon rendition and a photograph of a vulture:
BIRD #2: Take a look at this section of the print advertisement. Do you see the image of a dead white bird?
Here is a comparison of the image of the dead white bird next to a picture of a white bird:
BIRD #3: Take a look at this section of the print advertisement. Do you see the image of a Red-tailed Hawk?
Here is a comparison of the image of the Red-tailed Hawk’s head with a picture of a Red-tailed Hawk’s head.
The image of the Red-tailed Hawk looks like it is about to take flight due to the positioning of the wings:
COLOR PSYCHOLOGY There are three predominant colors in this advertisement: yellow, black, and gold. As mentioned previously, the colors yellow and black relate to the colors of a wasp.
Gold is another color of this advertisement which is the color of the whiskey in the glass.
To an addicted heavy consumer of alcohol, whiskey is as good as gold.
SUBJECTIVE ANALYSIS Subliminal images of a wasp and birds in this Calvert whiskey ad have been revealed.
Through subliminal imagery and symbolic meanings, it appears that this ad is portraying an addicted heavy drinker’s life coming to an end.
🔹It is important to understand that the subconscious mind operates with symbols, pictures and images.
🔹They convey far more information than words. They reach us on an intuitive level. We understand images by making associations with them.
WASP SYMBOLISM: In this advertisement, the wasp is a symbol of whiskey because both the wasp and the whiskey are known for their ability to sting.
🔹This stinging of the alcohol can cause some rawness and discomfort in the short-term, and in the long-term it may have other consequences.
🔹A wasp can sting multiple times without harm to itself. Wasps do not die after stinging their victims.
🔹Since the wasp in this advertisement is dead, it has lost it’s power to sting.
🔹The whiskey (wasp) loses it’s power to sting after an addicted heavy consumer of alcohol dies.
VULTURE SYMBOLISM: In the ad above, the image of a vulture–a universal symbol of death–is hovering over the dead wasp.
🔹Death is inevitably approaching any heavy drinker.
WHITE DEAD BIRD SYMBOLISM: According to a Germanic superstition, the “omen most often associated with death was a white dove that would appear on the windowsill or in the room of the terminally ill and forewarn the family of the impending death.”
🔹Although a white dove has been a symbol of peace and hope for thousands of years, in this advertisement the dead bird represents the situation where the addicted heavy drinker has lost peace and hope as the end of his life draws near.
HAWK SYMBOLISM: In this advertisement, the hawk is at the top of the glass of whiskey and is poised to take flight. The hawk’s back is towards the dead white bird, the vulture, and the dead wasp.
🔹Hawk symbolism is also associated with death, for the birds often act as the bearers of souls heavenward.
🔹The hawk’s swiftness of darting down and grasping its weakened prey also serves as a symbol of death, injustice, and violence.
Now here is what the advertisers knew about the demographics of their consumers at the time:
🔹The top 5% of drinkers of alcohol accounted for 42% of the United States total alcohol consumption.
🔹About 17.6 million Americans abused or were dependent on alcohol.
🔹In the United States, excessive alcohol use accounted for an estimated average of 80,000 deaths annually.
On a global scale, the “harmful use of alcohol results in approximately 2.5 million deaths each year.
THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION
Think about how much information and statistics advertisers, propagandists, and social engineers had back then.
Now considering the enormous amount of spying via internet, cellphones, financial records, purchasing habits and locations you frequent, just how much more accessible are your customs, patterns and obsessions? How can these be used to not only track your existence, but manipulate your life?
Thank you for reading Part 2 of our Social Enginnering Manipulation series.
Where do material blessings come from? It’s in the Bible, Deuteronomy 8:18 NIV
“But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth.”
Can money get in the way of more important things? Wealth can become the center of our life and take God’s place. It’s in the Bible, Jeremiah 9:23-24, NIV
“This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord.”
Wealth can give us wrong attitudes about material things. It’s in the Bible, Luke 12:15 NIV
“Then [Jesus] said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
It is unwise to make financial success a priority. It’s in the Bible, Matthew 6:24, NIV
“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”
I Timothy 6:9, NIV
“People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction.”
While it is not impossible, it is difficult for the rich to become citizens of God’s kingdom. It’s in the Bible, Mark 10:23-25, NIV.
“Jesus looked around and said to His disciples, ‘How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!’ The disciples were amazed at His words. But Jesus said again, ‘Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'”
The love of money leads to evil. It’s in the Bible, I Timothy 6:10, NIV.
“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”
Greed often accompanies prosperity and can lead to crime. It’s in the Bible, James 4:1-2, TLB
“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it because there is a whole army of evil desires within you? You want what you don’t have, so you kill to get it. You long for what others have, and can’t afford it, so you start a fight to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.”
It’s true, the more you give, the greater will be your reward. It’s in the Bible, Luke 12:33-34, NIV
“Sell your possessions and give to the poor: Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
What investment strategy does God recommend? It’s in the Bible, I Timothy 6:17-19, NIV.
“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”
A valuable reminder for property owners. It’s in the Bible, Leviticus 25:23, TLB
“And remember, the land is Mine, so you may not sell it permanently. You are merely My tenants and sharecroppers!”
Contentment is not related to amount of money or possessions. It’s in the Bible, Philippians 4:12-13, TLB.
“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation, whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want; for I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.”
God asks us to return tithe [10%] and offerings to Him and in return He promises unlimited blessings. It’s in the Bible, Malachi 3:8-10, NIV.
“Will a man rob God?” Yet you rob Me. “But you ask, ‘How do we rob You?’ “In tithes and offerings.” Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house. Test Me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”
Christ endorsed tithing. It’s in the Bible, Matthew 23:23, NIV.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.”
How may all, rich and poor, honor God? It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 3:9, NIV.
“Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.”
If we put God first, He will take care of all our needs. It’s in the Bible, Matthew 6:33, NIV.
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
What is the financial counsel of Solomon, the wisest and richest man who ever lived? It’s in the Bible, Ecclesiastes 5:10-20, TLB.
“He who loves money shall never have enough. The foolishness of thinking that wealth brings happiness! The more you have, the more you spend, right up to the limits of your income, so what is the advantage of wealth—except perhaps to watch it as it runs through your fingers! The man who works hard sleeps well whether he eats little or much, but the rich must worry and suffer insomnia. There is another serious problem I have seen everywhere—savings are put into risky investments that turn sour, and soon there is nothing left to pass on to one’s son. The man who speculates is soon back to where he began—with nothing. This, as I said, is a very serious problem, for all his hard work has been for nothing; he has been working for the wind. It is all swept away. All the rest of his life he is under a cloud—gloomy, discouraged, frustrated, and angry… . To enjoy your work and to accept your lot in life—that is indeed a gift from God. The person who does that will not need to look back with sorrow on his past, for God gives him joy.”
What does the Scripture say about my monthly bills? It’s in the Bible, Romans 13:7-8, NIV.
“Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.”
Be cautious about countersigning loan notes. It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 22:26-27, TLB.
“Unless you have extra cash on hand, don’t countersign a note. Why risk everything you own? They’ll even take your bed!”
What reminder are we given about borrowing money? It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 22:7, NIV.
“The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”
God expects fairness in business dealings. It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 16:11, TLB.
“The Lord demands fairness in every business deal. He established this principle.”
Honesty and fairness are always expected of those who wish to please God. It’s in the Bible, Isaiah 33:15, TLB.
“I will tell you who can live here: All who are honest and fair, who reject making profit by fraud, who hold back their hands from taking bribes, who refuse to listen to those who plot murder, who shut their eyes to all enticement to do wrong.”
It is important to work to earn a living. It’s in the Bible, II Thessalonians 3:11-12, TLB.
“Yet we hear that some of you are living in laziness, refusing to work, and wasting your time in gossiping. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ we appeal to such people—we command them—to quiet down, get to work, and earn their own living.”
Those who have never heard of “FRANKQUOTES” are more apt to watch CNN, MSNBC, read the NY Times, Washington Post, or stay glued to Facebook, Twitter, or China’s TIK-TOK.
It was General Robert E. Lee who said, “You must study to be frank with the world: Frankness is the child of honesty and courage.”
Here are some recent FrankQuotes from Gab. They bill themselves as “A Library Of “We The People” Frank Quotes For The Modern Age | Alternative InfoNews Media | The Way, The Truth and The Life | FREEDOM.”
We know of so many people who are struggling with finances today. It is a rarity to find someone who is not.
If you’re staring at a near-empty bank account today, we invite you to open your Bible and dive into God’s Word. We invite you to meditate on its messages of peace, hope and perseverance. And we invite you to join us in reciting these four prayers:
🔹Lord, give me peace when money is tight. Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid. – John 14:27 (GNTD)
🔹Lord, give me hope when I have none. May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace by means of your faith in him, so that your hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit.– Romans 15:13 (GNTD)
🔹Lord, give me wisdom as I make decisions about my money. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.– Proverbs 3:5-6 (GNTD)
🔹Lord, provide for my needs. Look at the crows: they don’t plant seeds or gather a harvest; they don’t have storage rooms or barns; God feeds them! You are worth so much more than birds!– Luke 12:24 (GNTD)
🔹Delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) due to physical exercise reduces the ability to perform intensive physical training and participate in sports at high levels.
🔹Omega-3 fatty acids may provide a partial protective effect against development of DOMS and may accelerate recovery after damaging exercise.
🔹Because cod oil produced through fermentation contains natural bioactive compounds such as Vitamins A and D along with omega-3 fatty acids, it may assist in the recovery from DOMS.
Effect of Omega-3 Fatty Acids on Muscle Recovery After Strenuous Exercise
By Dr. Subramaniam Sathivel
Physical exercise, particularly resistance exercise, often results in delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) that peaks 1-2 days after the exercise and takes up to 5-6 days to get resolved.
DOMS has shown to reduce the ability to perform intensive physical training and to play sports at high levels.
There is evidence to suggest that omega-3 fatty acids could provide a partial protective effect against development of DOMS and may even accelerate recovery after damaging exercise.
The main omega-3 fatty acids are alpha linolenic acid (ALA), eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA).
EPA and DHA, in particular, may reduce pro-inflammatory cytokines while raising anti-inflammatory markers. Some researchers have reported that omega-3 supplementation decreases the soreness after exercise. They found that individuals are able to perform a specific type of exercise at increased levels after omega-3 supplementation, and concluded that omega-3 supplementation could decrease the severe localized soreness due to this type of exercise.
Based on these findings they believe that omega-3 supplements could be beneficial to athletes, especially athletes involved with high-intensity strength training. Other researchers have suggested that fish oil containing omega-3 fatty acids could be a natural anti-inflammatory.
Researchers have investigated the effect of omega-3 fatty acids on muscle soreness over three days in competitive soccer players. Their findings showed that the soccer players experience muscle damage due to the high demand of physical activities during soccer games and were able to show that combining omega-3 fatty acids with a multi-ingredient supplement resulted in protection of the muscles from damage during exercise and reduced muscle soreness in recovery.
They speculated that a possible reason for these desirable effects is that the omega-3 fatty acids improve the structural integrity of the muscle cell membrane before exercising. This could lead to protection of the muscle fibers in the active muscles from developing DOMS.
In a study done by a group of researchers the effect of a high dose and low dose of EPA on the recovery from muscle damage induced by exercise was looked at.
Twenty-seven physically active males participated in this study. They used 100 plyometric drop jumps to induce muscle damage. The participants were tested for muscle soreness and isokinetic muscle squat jump performance.
The researchers found that those who took the high EPA dose were able to return to their baseline performance faster.
Another group of researchers investigated how muscle soreness in 20 professional Rugby players was affected by the consumption of a protein-based supplement containing omega-3 fatty acids. They observed a moderate beneficial effect of omega-3 fatty acids in reducing fatigue.
The researchers concluded, “The moderate beneficial effect of adding fish oil to a protein-based supplement on muscle soreness translated into the better maintenance of explosive power in elite Rugby Union players during pre-season training.”
Fish oils, including cod liver oil, contain these beneficial omega-3 fatty acids. With that in mind, cod liver oil may be useful for muscle recovery from intensive exercise.
🔹Youth is a good time to develop a relationship with God. It’s in the Bible, Ecclesiastes 12:1, TLB.
“Don’t let the excitement of being young cause you to forget about your Creator: Honor Him in your youth before the evil years come—when you’ll no longer enjoy living.”
🔹God is more interested in willingness than in age. It’s in the Bible, I Samuel 2:18, TLB.
“Samuel, though only a child, was the Lord’s helper.”
🔹What does God expect of children? It’s in the Bible, Colossians 3:20, NIV.
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
🔹One of God’s commandments is for children to honor and respect their parents, It’s in the Bible, Exodus 20:12, NIV.
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
🔹How long are children to respect their parents? It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 23:22, NIV.
“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”
🔹Prompt discipline is an expression of parental love. It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 13:24, TLB.
“If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don’t love him; for if you love him, you will be prompt to punish him.”
🔹Youth can be Christ-like examples. It’s in the Bible, I Timothy 4:12, NIV.
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”
🔹Children should learn from their parents. It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 1:8, NIV.
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”
🔹Living a reckless life dishonors parents. It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 28:7, TLB.
“Young men who are wise obey the law; a son who is a member of a lawless gang is a shame to his father.”
🔹It is wrong to take unfair advantage of parents. It’s in the Bible, Proverbs 28:24, TLB.
“A man who robs his parents and says, ‘What’s wrong with that?’ is no better than a murderer.”
🔹Young people should be selective in choosing their friends. It’s in the Bible, II Timothy 2:22, TLB.
“Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men often have, but stay close to anything that makes you want to do right. Have faith and love, and enjoy the companionship of those who love the Lord and have pure hearts.”
The big myth I heard most during 40 years of nursing and training others about pregnancy, childbirth, nutrition and good health, is that “eating healthy is too expensive.”
It may sometimes take some planning and time in the kitchen, but eating healthy on a budget is possible. Plus, it could save far more health related expenses in the future. Plan meals and snacks around sales.
Here are ways to make it happen:
🔹Shop seasonally, especially with fruits and vegetables.
🔹Create a shopping list and stick to it.
🔹Stock up on staples, such as brown rice, whole-wheat pasta, dried beans and lentils, when on sale.
🔹Consider purchasing frozen or canned fruits and vegetables as an alternative to fresh products. Be sure to check the ingredient list to avoid items with added sugars or salt.
MORE MYTHS ABOUT NUTRITION
Eating at night?
The content of this article is for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult with a qualified health care professional before acting on any information presented herein. Any statements about the possible health benefits of any subject discussed have not been evaluated by medical professionals or the Food & Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or illness.
‘Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned.’
Powerful Winning Hacks That Take Venom Out of Angry People
During a job performance review in the 1990s, my boss, H-E-B Food-Drugs Vice President Ralph Mehringer said something that I remember to this day.
“You have the unique ability to take the venom out of angry people,” he noted. “You quickly de-fang them.”
I liked that.
Ralph is a keen observer and calls it as he sees it. His words were motivating, so of course, it reinforced my learning and practicing.
I became interested in studying Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP for short. Eventually I became a certified NLP Practitioner.
It helped immensely in leadership and dealing with others through powerful techniques such as “anchoring,” reading body language and facial expressions, “reframing thoughts” and building rapport.
As the years progressed, “de-fanging” became natural and automatic-like.
Here are some tips I learned along the way and continue to use today:
1. When someone is angry and confrontational, stand next to them, rather than in front of them. You want to appear not to be much of a threat, after all you’re physically on their side, and they eventually calm down.
2. Slow the pace of speech.They are likely to be yelling or talking rapidly. It’s critical not to engage in a like manner. When it’s your turn to reply, do so in a deliberate, kind, quiet and slower tone.
4. Rephrase what the other person says and repeat it back to them. In that slower, quieter voice, this helps you understand their concern. This makes them feel you care and are listening to them. It shows your genuine interest in them. It validates them and helps you. Note: Don’t overdo it. You don’t want to appear condescending.
3. Open with “I need your help.” Most people don’t like the guilt of not helping someone out. When asking for a favor from someone, begin with “I need your help.” It GREATLY increases the chances of getting the favor done. But best of all, it can be used as an opening line to someone very irritated about something. Usually I act innocently not knowing why they’re upset. It’s a good precursor to leading them out of their anger towards a better outlook.
5. If you want someone to agree with you, nod while you talk. I learned this as a door-to-door insurance salesman in the early 1980s and discovered it works well with group presentations too. When you notice them beginning to change their attitude, or better yet nod back, you’re on the right track. They are beginning to subconsciously agree with you.
6. If someone doesn’t like you, ask to borrow a pencil or pen. This is called the Benjamin Franklin Effect. It’s just a small favor that actually helps nudge them to like you. Not as effective, but still good, is to subtly touch someone’s upper arm when you ask for a favor.
7. Mimic them without them realizing it. It’s called mirroring and takes some practice. It has to be subtle and with finesse. If you don’t feel comfortable doing it try folding your arms in a non-threatening way. It helps to determine their interest. If someone is observing you, they will likely mimic you.
8. Repeat a person’s name many times in the conversation. Don’t overdo it, but it helps you remember their name, and makes them like you more.
9. If the person is a child, bring bubbles. Hint: this can work for adults too. Bubbles are magical mood changers.
Please note this article begins a series on posts offered to help our readers understand how NLP can not only help you in everyday life and business practice, but reveals the ways politicians, propagandists and others can manipulate your thought process to change your beliefs.