If There Weren’t Any Democrats in California Then Who Would Be Left?

What do Biden and Obama call illegal immigrants when they are talking to each other?

Undocumented Democrats.

Why were Democrats in the lead early on?

Republicans weren’t off work yet?

We haven’t seen the Democrats this mad at Republicans since they freed the slaves.

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Three Fingers and a Bird

The True Story of the Profound Lesson I Learned in 1963 on a Barber’s Chair

Just eight miles south-southwest of where I thought John Wayne fought at the Alamo was a spot in San Antonio where serious thinking and deciphering came into my life.

Slightly west of the halfway point along the street I saw President Kennedy on the day before his assassination–between the San Jose Mission and Kelly Air Force Base–is a region where my father was considered “patron.”

Starting on the Southeast corner of Southwest Military Drive, and heading south for eleven blocks on Commercial Street, was the first of five business pillars of our community.

Three proprietors were the foundation of commerce on Commercial Avenue and gaining the kind of momentum two others, Joe Barry and Mr. Stacey had held for a number of years. 

The first was Raymond “Bud” Jones of the “Meal A Minute” 89 cent All-You-Can-Eat -Fish fame. Bud, who passed away in October 2018, opened his legendary restaurant in 1959 at the Military Drive/Commercial southeast corner. Today, this South Side institution still serves the All-You-Can-Eat-Fish for $9.75 with his daughter Cathy and family running it.

Joe Barry owned the Terrell Wells grocery and gas store that eventually became the original VFW Post 8541. My daddy, Walter “Corky” Dennis, would go in to buy a pack of Camels (later on, he graduated to Salem’s) as I would sit in the car and look at the screen on a front door. It was painted yellow and blue with a gingham dressed girl smiling with bread in her hands proclaiming that we should “Reach for Sunbeam Bread.” 

Mercy, did I have a crush on that pretty blond haired-blue eyed beauty! I wondered often if she was kin to Dorothy of Kansas and Toto fame. Perhaps a blond cousin?

Later on, when I became at least as good at ‘cipherin’ as Jethro Bodine, I figured her out. I deduced she was the older sister of another girl and her dog– the little tan one on Coppertone signs who was embarrassed about having her panties almost torn off.

Across the street from Terrell Wells Grocery was Stacey’s Barber Shop. With a prominent barber pole on the south front lawn, Mr. and Mrs. Stacey lived on the north half of their shop in a small white wood framed house.

It was a matter of honor, but mostly courage, to sit up high on the board placed on the white arms of the barber chair of Mr. Stacey. I proudly received my trims from the same man who had cut my great grandfather John’s, grandpa Jack’s and father Corky’s hair.

I liked to go there with Daddy. But Mom, not so much. Momma would always make me sit close to the front door as we walked in. It just did not seem quite right for a girl like Momma, to be in a barber shop. There was nothing really wrong with it. Other mothers and even Mrs. Stacey came in. But a guy could not really appreciate the “feel” of the place with women in there.

There seemed to be more laughter and the men could talk about men’s things like “baseball,” or “a missile crisis” when the women were away.

In early December, Dad took me in. Grandpa Dennis was in one of the waiting chairs at the far right end facing the barber chairs on the left.

Without Momma around I could penetrate farther in and get away from the front door where the Porky Pig, Zorro or Superman books were. Sitting between Daddy and Grandpa I could scan the cover of nearby True Detective magazines. Mr. and Mrs. Stacey would never allow anything more manly than that. But to a guy just about to turn eight, True Detective was very mannish. (Note: The word “Macho” had not been invented yet as far as I know).

As each customer walked in, they were passed an 8 x 10 black and white glossy of what was purported to be the “last picture of JFK before he was shot.” One of the barbers had bought it for a dollar at the drug store located next to St. Leo’s Church on South Flores Street during their 1963 Fall Festival and Tamale Sale. Dad let me look at it and I felt important.

“Okay, Jack, you are next,” said one of the barbers. He was talking to Grandpa, who got up and sat down in a man’s size barber’s chair.

I did not notice who just walked in. I was determining if Daddy would let me go next, after Grandpa, instead of him. If so, Mr. Stacey would cut my hair. Then my odds for getting a sucker were better. Some of the other barbers did not always remember to pass out the suckers. Mr. Stacey never forgot, plus he would let me choose the color. I would leave the yellows or browns for the poor kids that were stuck with the other barbers.

Richard Floyd, my step grandfather sat down beside me grinning.

“Paw Paw,” I grinned back. We hugged.

Paw Paw was a tall human being.   With only one good eye and a few good teeth, he was not much for the world to see, but to me he walked on water.

“What are you doing, gettin’ your ears lowered, Booger?” He waved his hand from front to back over his head.

“They only charge Paw Paw half price, because I only have half my hair.”

What a treat it was to have two grandfathers and a father in the same barber shop all at the same time.

“Are you ready for your birthday?” Paw Paw asked.

When Grandpa Dennis heard that, he called me up and reached in his wallet. He handed me a dollar bill.

“Grandpa didn’t forget your birthday,” he said. “You tell your daddy to get you something with this.”

Paw Paw saw what was going on and he pulled TWO dollars out of his billfold and handed it to me with Happy Birthday instructions to tell my Mom to get me something with them.

Three whole dollars in a matter of seconds and it was the most money I had up to that point in my life. (Note: That amount in 1963 is worth $25.36 today).

When I sat back down, secretly enjoying the $3 in my pocket, my mind immediately jumped to disenchantment. Suddenly, my brain realized what people meant when they said “bad luck or trouble comes in threes.” And it had nothing to do with the money.

I had been waiting for the third calamity to reveal itself ever since my beloved cockerspaniel Blackie died on November 4th and John F. Kennedy on the 22nd.  Within a little over a month’s time, there I was, in the middle of the prohibited end of the barber shop and suddenly going through trauma numero tres!

It was at this moment I discovered that BOTH of my grandfathers had three fingers missing from their left hands.

What was this? Why hadn’t I really noticed their left hands before? Or maybe I did, but it did not register until I saw them both in the same room. Or was it because I was almost eight and noticing more adult things? After all, I had just scanned the covers of two True Detectives.

For at least the next few weeks I was terrified of everything my hands touched. Perhaps this was some kind of omen or family curse? What were the odds? Two grandfathers with the same hands missing three fingers!

My Daddy, policeman Walter “Corky” Dennis, was one of the motorcycle escorts next to the President’s car on the Kennedy motorcade during his San Antonio visit the day before his assassination in Dallas.

Just in time for Christmas, Daddy explained that Paw Paw was only my step-grandfather, so it really did not count—-there was no family curse.

“You do not have to worry about it any more.”

Thank God for Daddy’s explanation. I didn’t know how much longer I could have held out keeping my left hand in my pocket everywhere I went. Each morning when I awoke, I would look to see if those fingers on that hand were still there. Somehow it would sneak out from under the pillow during my sleep.

Definitely, I would not dare do what the other boys were inventing in the cafeteria.   By placing a pencil on top of their middle finger and bending the adjacent fingers over the pencil, they could “shoot the bird.”

Not quite understanding what that meant, as far as I was concerned if I shot that bird it was sure to be a recipe for the family curse. I knew that bird had wings for a reason. Around me it was going to just have to fly away. I did not intend to lose my three fingers over a bird.
     

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Democrats Playing ‘Wheel of Fortune’ and ‘Let’s Make a Deal’

Hunter Biden’s daddy, the “Big Guy,” has a history of cheating. Through plagiarism in college, back door deals in New Jersey, voter and ballot fraud, money laundering kick backs with foreign entities, Joe Biden has always been a low class political swindler.

Here’s a satirical look at Biden and his pals as seen through the eyes of millions via social media memes.

Contestant Biden

Contestant Hillary

Contestant Obama

Other Democrat Contestants

THE WINNER

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Caution: For Cute Dog Fans Only

Every thinks they have the best dog and none of them are wrong. Dogs do speak but only to those who know how to listen. Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

Our dog, Mr. Beefy

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Whiteboard Lesson Guy’s Greatest Hits

The character, Jim Halpert, is played by John Krasinki from America’s television comedy sitcom, The Office. In his now popular meme, Jim points to a whiteboard and then smiles.

On November 10th, 2008, the episode of The Office entitled “Baby Shower” Jim charts how his boss Michael might be related to another character’s baby.

He says, “Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now, this baby will be related to Michael through delusion.”

On March 16th, 2016, Tumblr account the-office-daily posted a two-panel screenshot from the scene. The post received more than 3,700 notes in less than four years 

On April 17th, 2016, Buzzfeed used an edited version of the image that reads “How compatible with Jim Halpert are you?”

Several years later, on August 27th, 2019, Imgur user fluffypancakes shared an edited variation that reads “Government is necessary because people left unchecked will do evil. The government is composed of people left unchecked.”

The post received more than 114,000 views and 4,400 points in less than one year.

Here are some of the top rated Whiteboard Lesson Guy’s memes:

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

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10 Clever Facts We Learned at WonderWorks in Branson, Missouri

We passed up going to WonderWorks in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and I instantly regretted it after we left.

Driving away toward the Great Smokies National Park, I suddenly remembered a Facebook post from a friend, Janie Buys, a few years ago mentioning the attraction. It seems she had doubts about visiting it with husband Phil and son Phil Jr., but after she went in, it didn’t take her long to enjoy it.

A couple of weeks later into our month long roadtrip, Dodie and I were pleasantly surprised to see a WonderWorks in Branson, Missouri.

Dodie navigating through a kaleidoscope tunnel.

Dodie, a retired nurse, has always enjoyed science and the attraction bills itself as “a science focused indoor amusement park, combines education and entertainment. With over 100 hands-on exhibits – there is something unique and challenging for all ages.”

The building is enticing enough to spur anyone’s interest. It looks like a giant four story venue turned upside down. As soon as we walked in, the floor was the ceiling and the ceiling was the floor.

The WonderWorks entrance.

It was fun to experience the power of 84mph hurricane–force winds in the Hurricane Shack. Some chose to make huge, life–sized bubbles in the Bubble Lab.

I enjoyed the NASA Space area but we elected not to get strapped into the Astronaut Training Gyro to “experience zero gravity.” We also passed lying on the death–defying Bed of Nails.

Astronaut Jack.

Here’s the Top 10 Things I Learned at WonderWorks:

1. You can’t see your ears without a mirror.

2. You can’t count your hair.

3. You can’t breath through your nose with your tounge out.

4. You just tried No. 3.

6. When you tried No. 3 you realized that it is possible, but you looked like a dog.

7. You are smiling right now, because you were fooled.

8. You skipped No. 5.

9. You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

10. Share this with your friends so they can have fun too.

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Impractical Jokers Star Joe Gatto ‘Stepping Away’ From Show


Television’s Impractical Jokers member Joe Gatto posted the surprising news on Instagram before the New Year 2022 rang in that he would “create new ways to entertain you.”

“Sorry in advance for the long and more-serious-than-usual note below, I just wanted to let you all know that I will no longer be involved with Impractical Jokers,” Gatto wrote. “Alongside my friends, I’ve devoted a decade of my life to building this franchise and couldn’t be prouder of what has been accomplished. However, due to some issues in my personal life, I have to step away. Bessy and I have decided to amicably part ways, so now I need to focus on being the best father and co-parent to our two incredible kids.

“Outside of my family, my relationships with Murr, Q and Sal have been the most important in my life,” he continued. “I know they will continue to make the world laugh. And even though the four of us are the ones who you all see, this show is only possible due to the hard work of the talented crew members who work behind the scenes. I am very thankful to have worked with each and every one of them.”

How Gatto’s exit affects the future of the troupe is unknown. The stars of the long-running TruTV series struck a first-look deal with WarnerMedia earlier in 2021 and had their flagship show renewed for a tenth season.

The Tenderloins comedy troupe, which includes Gatto, James “Murr” Murray, Brian “Q” Quinn and Sal Vulcano, were slated to develop and produce original unscripted and scripted programming for TNT, TBS and truTV as well as HBO Max.

The also star in Impractical Jokers: Dinner Party, launched Impractical Jokers: The Movie in 2020 and are making Impractical Jokers: After Party with Joey Fatone.

They are also involved in The Misery Index, which is in its third season at TBS.

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Fun of the Beach?

An ocean breeze puts a mind at ease.

Sunshine is the best medicine.

Life is simple: just add water.

Painted rock.

Time wasted at the beach is time well spent.

Stingray City.
Check out the woman behind them.
Wet on the beach from behind.
Attack of the seagulls.

May you always have a shell in your pocket and sand in your shoes.

Ouch.

Feeling stressed? There’s a beach for that.

B.E.A.C.H.: Best Escape Anyone Can Have.

Sand dollar.

Never give up for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

I followed my heart, and it led me to the beach.

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Having Fun With Elvis Presley: A Collection On and Off Stage

The recorded voice of Elvis Presley has been heard by more people around the world than any other person in history.

Born January 8, 1935 to Gladys and Vernon Presley in Tupelo, Mississippi, Elvis would accomplish more in his 42 years than most.

For pure fun, here are some of the most popular memes, cartoons and posts enjoyed by Elvis Presley fans of all ages.

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.

Dog Gone It If These Aren’t The Cutest Dogs On The Net Right Now

A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.–Robert Wagner

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.– Orhan Pamuk 

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.– Elizabeth Taylor

Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really. – Agnes Sligh Turnbull

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.– Roger Caras

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”– Charles De Gaulle

Dogs never bite me. Just Humans– Marilyn Monroe

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s. – Mark Twain

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job. – Franklin P. Jones

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. – Franklin P. Jones

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey

Thanksgiving Smiles, Grins and Blessings

Let’s get basted.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock.

What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes? Squash casserole.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

“Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Norma Lee.” “Norma Lee who?” “Norma Lee I don’t eat this much!”

What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!

What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me!

Fruit comes from a fruit tree. Where does turkey come from? A poul-tree.

What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!

What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing wing wing!

Can a turkey jump higher than a house? Yes, because houses can’t jump!

What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.

Why do turkeys love rainy days? They love fowl weather.

Why did the turkey cross the road? He wanted people to think he was a chicken.

What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google.

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, quack!

“Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Dewey.” “Dewy who?” “Dewey have to wait long to eat?”

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Arthur.” “Arthur who?” “Arthur any leftovers?”

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.
We appreciate your readership.

Puzzled? Try These to Get Away From it All

.

Camouflaged Owl.
Animals? Look close.
12 seconds
14 seconds
A Classic.
Find the difference.

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From award-winning Texas author Cynthia Leal Massey.