It may be difficult, but it is worthwhile to help and care for people grieving the death of a loved one. Especially challenging is facing the fact that what may comfort one individual may not be so comforting to someone else.

When a person loses a loved one, they may also have lost the person who paid the monthly bills, cooked most meals, or who dreamed together about travel, retirement, and other plans.

It is important to note that the second year after a loss can be more difficult than the first, because time does not really heal all wounds.

Two key strategies it to help them:

1. Accept and grieve their loss

2. Turn to God

They may also need help with storing memories, embracing a new identity, and creating a new normal.

Also note:

• They shouldn’t feel uncomfortable when a grieving person weeps over a loved one’s death. It is good to grieve.

• It’s important for grieving people to interact with possessions and memorabilia that stir their memories. This helps the person become more aware of what he has lost so that he can grieve it and seek the Lord to discover how the God of all comfort will meet that need.

• Grieving people often lose their identity when their loved one dies. A mother who lost her only child wonders if she is a mother anymore. A man who lost his wife doesn’t know whether to check the “married” or “single” box on an insurance form. An adult child feels like an orphan after both parents have died. This awareness can lead to fruitful conversations as the grieving person is often unaware that he has lost a part of his identity (which is why he doesn’t understand why he is hurting so much).

• It will take time, trial, and error to decide what a person would like her “new normal” to look like. With this understanding, we will be better positioned to patiently wait on a person to work through those issues rather than rushing him through them. We will also be more apt to allow for the person to change a bit—not holding her to the be the same person she was before her loved one died.

IN GOD WE TRUST

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