For Those Who Cared For Their Parents

For the Mother or Father who cared for their parents,

This day has extra meaning for you, because you’ve Mothered or Fathered backwards. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You’ve driven them to doctors appointments and made countless phone calls to insurance companies.

Like you loaded your kids in and out of your car when they were young, you’ve done the same for your parents. Making sure they are comfortable, and gently buckling them in.

You’ve cut up meals into tiny bites and held a cup to their tired lips when they’ve been tired.

You’ve found just the right way to give them their medicine and tried your best to give them a schedule while still giving them independence.

You’ve taken them out for special occasions and taken them for drives just so they can see the Christmas lights one more time.

Just like you they dealt with your 15 year-old stubborn attitude, you’ve worked through their 80 year old stubbornness and ways.

And when they were afraid of dying, you reminded them of how wonderful heaven would be, just like they did when they tucked you in at night when you were a little boy or girl.

You take such great care of the things that are important to them; the photos and their prized possessions, making sure their favorite clothes are hung up just right, just like when your Mom washed your favorite teddy bear when you spilled juice on it and ironed your new dress on Easter morning.

Or when your Dad comforted you when you skinned your knee when you were learning to ride your bike or after a heart breaking loss after a sporting event.

And when they called out in the middle of the night because they were afraid they might have fallen out of bed, you came beside them to remind them they were safe. Oh, how many nights they came to your bed and comforted you.

You were the first one to drive them to wherever it was when you got that call. Something was wrong, your plans had to change, because your parent needed to be cared for. They needed either their son or daughter.

And when the time came to say goodbye, you were right there. Holding their hand, reminding them of just how much they were loved and cherished. You knew they were ready to go, but you weren’t. You weren’t ready to say goodbye to your Mom or Dad. You weren’t ready to stop Mothering or Fathering your parent.

And as they closed the casket one last time, you couldn’t bear to say goodbye to that face, those hands. That body who you loved, that body who cared for you, and who you cared for. The memories you have etched on your soul your entire life, and in these last years the soul you cared for with such mercy and tenderness.

Because no matter how much you Mothered or Fathered your own parent, that person was still your Mother or Father. And the years you spent loving them, the seasons of frustration and exhaustion…. you wouldn’t take a second of it back.