For Christmas, my dear wife, Dodie Dennis, gifted me with “How to Test Negative for Stupid and Why Washington Never Will” by Louisiana Senator John Kennedy.
I absolutely love it and highly recommend it to anyone who wants to smile as they learn about the stupidity of Washington DC politics.
For example, the United States of America’s Senate chamber was trudging through a routine border-security vote when Senator Kennedy rose unexpectedly. No notes. No warning. Just a single unmarked manila folder in his hand.
He didn’t raise his voice. Instead, he opened the folder and read one line, slow and deliberate, into the microphone:
“Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, on recorded call, March 14, 2023: ‘When Somalia calls, I answer first. America is just the paycheck.’”
What followed was forty-two seconds of suffocating silence. No coughs. No papers shuffling. Even the C-SPAN audio seemed to flatline. Omar’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez froze mid-note, pen suspended in the air. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer’s gavel hovered like a broken toy.
Kennedy closed the folder, fixed his gaze on Omar, and added softly: “Sugar, that ain’t dual loyalty. That’s single betrayal.”
Then he sat down. The folder hit the desk with a thud that echoed like a gunshot.
C-SPAN viewership surged to 107 million live viewers, shattering every record in history. Ninety seconds later, Omar fled the chamber, aides shielding her from cameras. Her office issued a terse one-line denial: “Selectively edited fabrication.”
Kennedy, leaving the chamber, offered only one comment: “Tape’s in the folder. Full version drops at 6 p.m. on every network. God bless America.”
Within minutes, exploded across social media—28 million posts in just 41 minutes, half of them carrying a single word: “Resign.”
The Senate had just witnessed what many are calling a political execution, Louisiana style. And the marble floor, some say, is still shaking.
Chuck Schumer continues to block the House-passed DHS funding bill. Senate Democrats have filibustered legislation. This action has prevented the restoration of paychecks to TSA workers, Coast Guard crews, and FEMA employees. As many as sixteen senators have not even bothered to show up at these votes.
Recently, John Fetterman was the only Democrat to vote yes, but Kennedy identified the main faction responsible. It includes AOC, Ilhan Omar, Zohran Mamdani, and the Socialist Democrat wing that has made abolishing ICE a party litmus test.
He compared it directly to defund-the-police. It is the movement Democrats embraced in 2020. They watched it destroy cities. Then, they spent two years desperately running away from it.
When Minneapolis cut its police budget by millions, homicides hit a 26-year high. The same politicians who cheered “defund” scrambled to get funding back up.
Now those same Democrats are running the identical play on ICE – and Kennedy says he’s seen this movie.
Kennedy Quotes
“Looking for logic in government spending is like looking for a unicorn in a swamp.”
“Politics isn’t hard; people are just stubborn—and sometimes ridiculous.”
“Blaming the government for everything is like blaming the mirror for being ugly.”
“My advice to Congress: Stop trying so hard to outsmart each other and try working instead. Just a thought.”
“I’ve met a lot of smart people in government; unfortunately, they’re usually ignored.”
“Trying to explain inflation to a politician is like teaching calculus to a possum. Pointless.”
“If stupidity were a sport, Washington would have an Olympic team.”
“I sometimes think government policy meetings are just pizza parties gone wrong.”
“Washington is where common sense goes to die.”
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